Good Bye 2010

Too many things happened through this year.. disappointed, happiness, sadnesses...
But the most tragic part before the closing year of 2010, I still admitted in hospital & today is my 4th day here..
the first time in my life, today i will celebrate my New Year 2011 in hospital together with patients, beautiful nurses & beautiful doctors.

Happy New Year 2011, pals. May all the best wishes will be with us! Cheers!!


Lots of Love ;p Frouline Aging

The Gift

Just received this gift from a friend of mine while am busy shopping for my last preparation of this Xmas..and one thing I wonder, isn't it comes from the sincere heart or something lies behind this gift.

Anyway, Merry Xmas to all. May all the best wishes be with all of us

Lots of Love ;p Frouline Aging

A Sharing of A Marriage of Sarawak's PM

This is just a sharing from a page of my favorite politician, Mr Baru Bian in regards of our PM's marriage..

           He means a lot....unexplainable things for us to think.. 

Billion Dollar Bride

Meanwhile, we have exclusive pictures of Sarawak Chief Minister, Taib Mahmud’s, new young bride. Kuching has been aflame with interest and amusement at the leaked information that the 74 year old has found himself a second wife who is still in her 20s.

However, the government has refused to issue official confirmation of the wedding ceremony that was celebrated at the weekend in the Chief Minister’s vast mansion (the financing of which remains a mystery, like the rest of his properties). Even senior Government Ministers are scouring the web for details of the new “Thief Lady”, who has yet even to be announced by name.

In desperation calls have been made to Sarawak Report and so we feel honoured to oblige.



Sarawak’s wealth around her neck

Sarawakians will not fail to notice that several thousand hectares of irreplaceable jungle must have been felled and turned to oil palm to adorn this lady’s neck.

One top London jeweller today gave the opinion that the rubies in her diamond tiara, necklace, ring and broach are “likely to be fake glass”. His reason was that if they were genuine cabochon rubies, like they appear to be, then they would be “priceless at such a size as that”. When pressed the jeweller hazarded that they would be worth at least RM150 million.

Since the Chief Minister has yet to release details about his bride we will leave Sarawakians to decide amongst themselves whether the Chief Minister has adorned his new wife in glass or cabochon ruby.

Lots of Love ;p Frouline Aging

Here I come for Xmas..

Shopping! Am in mode of Xmas..finally I'm done shopping for my beloved families.. plus leisure time with my best buddies...

~ a snap shoot before shopping~

~girl in purple_she's unwell but she tries her best to spend her time~

~we love acting~

~ can't retained ourselves of posing in-front of camera~

~pic everywhere_ can't help ourselves of having this kind of photo shoot!

Lots of Love ;p Frouline Aging

I bake ;p

For the first time, i baked! And this is because of Xmas! 

icing sugar + margarine 

put anything that you like (your milk, nestum, etc)

inside the oven_ huh! nk gak ambk gambar

taraaaa......

put inside your food container (sebelum habis kena kidnap, much better u hide them ;p)

ni biskut makmur...was baked a night before 

I baked 2 types of biscuits.. the taste??? not so bad even it was my first trial...

p/s: thanks to my assistant..my advisers..;p

Lots of Love ;p Frouline Aging

Sing A Xmas song...

I really enjoy with this song, because one of the singers are my dearest friend, Rose Ragai. This performance actually sang by them in conjunction of pre- Xmas 2010 celebration together with special children somewhere in Sipitang if I'm not mistaken. And the best part, she sings loudly, clearly, but still not vividly..hahtaha..but most importantly, sing it energetically, my dear friend .




p/s: i just have opportunity to view it tonight, friend and really enjoy it, even just in a short time

Lots of Love ;p Frouline Aging

New Hair Style

Finally i make up my mind, after for a long time to decide! Today I get my new hair style, with shoulder length, I feel easy and free. And most important, easy for me to maintain my hair since am not so girlish. So, I can let my hair falls perfectly ;p

before :: curly & long hair

after :: neat & tidy with shoulder length

Looking for a new "friend"

Am thinking of having Nokia 3310 @Nokia 3210 when others chasing for Blackberry or Blueberry or whatever "Berry" in the market. I don't know how many times my family & friends asked me to change to new phone since the old one having so much difficulties, but still i refused as long as it still functioning. And among the statement from them...

"dek nya ukai nadai duit ka meli, tang bangat kedekut". Huh!

But when it gives me troublesome lately, I decided to have new one soon or later. The main problem is, I have to think twice, even hundred times to have the most advance and latest mobile phone in the market. Call me stingy, because I will not spend more than RM1K for it, as long as I can use it for my daily usage (to call out, to call in, to send SMS) 

Nokia 3210 & Nokia 3310 _ my friend says these type of hand-phones can be found in telecommunication museum only :(

Blackberry_ still consider to have this!

 

Welcoming December

The most awaited month...December... the last month of the year..long holiday to be taken.. a month for mediation. And most importantly, am ready for Xmas celebration with the whole family & welcoming 2011 for the new start! December is a month of celebration..parties everywhere with lots of wine, beers, turkey etc.. How fantastic it is! But it more than that actually.

pic by google search

This is the time for family gathering, meeting with busy family..sharing love with them and to know how wonderful they are. Happy December, pals!!

For the Mercy to Come

May God bless HER spirit, body & soul for the peace of mind.. May she finds the mercy lies within her heart.

credit to Abang Long for the pic!

Open up your heart..let it blossom like a vase of flowers decorating an empty wall

The toughest day in my life, when my dignity is denied over a little mistake I made..for a little mistake, she put me in trial! A trial without a bail!! How cruel she is.

Tibi plasma

Randau lemai enggau tudah apai..

Aku: nama hadiah Xmas ka nuan ila apai?
Apai: nadai utai bukai nya endu, nagih semaya org ti ka meli ke aku tibi ti mipis nya, nyamai, alu lekat ba dinding

Aku: *gulp* nelan ai liur..mat pama taste apai tok, alu ka tibi mipis, nah tibi aku agi tibi mesai tibang..
dlm ati jak mut2..deh..bangat ngumba kediri td ngaga offer ka meli present Xmas..cis! terbai meh tudah bonus taun tok..hukhuk..

Pengaruh iklan mat meh tudah apai ku tok. aku ka meli tibi biasa nya, enggai ga orang empu.keran ka tibi nipis. Aih deh..begaru ke pala meh tok pulai ke menua ila.. enti niang indai ku munya agi idup, sigi dah anu ia meh tudah apai ku tok, bangat ngai enda ngumba2.

tok meh tibi nipis ko apai ku nya.... (photo from google search)

Xmas Shopping

A long way to go  before Xmas...but am always the most excited person doing all the shopping. And most exciting part when my best friend give me an honor to help her to find the best dress for her wedding. I spent the whole day today with my friends to find one, but unfortunately, am too excited of it until I bought a dress for myself (for non-sense budget i always did)! Here the choices we made & now it is pending on my friend's hand to choose which one fit on her taste. 

My first choice for her wedding

My second choice

My third choice

tiada kaitan_ my own dress for her weddinng ;p

i love this blouse, so i just bought it & love it!

p/s: thanks a lot to Helena for being model, Suhana & Linda for being advisers. 

I'm craving for Sarawakian Food

I'm craving for Mee Kolok & Laksa Sarawak for the past few weeks. uuuuuu... I really miss this food until I found this place, "Dapur Sarawak" somewhere in Setapak last night. Finally I can satisfied my big appetite with Mee Kolok, Laksa Sarawak & Nasi Aruk Dabai ;p

my first choice, Laksa Sarawak

Kolok Mee..even the taste not so good as in Sarawak, but it's still ok

Nasi Aruk Dabai

(p/s: all the pictures are taken from one of our bloggers site)

and no wonder i put on my weight recently since i have a good taste & big appetite ;p

Bad Habits to be Inherited

Today i got too many complaints about me. One from my buddy & he said:

Frou, cuba la cakap elok2 sikit & lembut sikit. nie tak, suke cakap kasar

For information, I don't talk "lemah lembut gemalai ke aper" naturally I don't talk lemah lembut, ok.

Another situation, while I was checking for the letters & mumbling for the tying error done by a pal (time ni aku jd cikgu sekejap);

Me: nie taip x pakai otak ker aper? berapa kali aku nk check & amend semua surat nie??Simple instruction pn x paham.%$%^#&$&!&&#98...

That's me. I'm very particular & strict in accomplishing my task, even a little mistake I can't stop myself from keep mumbling and mumbling (this habit I inherited from my late mom)

Sigh..sigh..i try to improve myself because nobody is perfect actually & try to put some of my weaknesses into rubbish bin, but still I can't.

To all my beloved friends

The best kind of friends,
Is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with,
Never say a word,

And then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

Happy Halloween buddies. Thanks for making my days ;p

November

It's November...soon will be December..DECEMBER... a month of celebration..Time to fly back home...and I can't hardly wait for it...for those things I really miss them so much..for the sorrow I try to left behind...November...runs as fast as you can..I just can't wait for December to come ;p

A Sharing..

photo credit to google search

When you were born, you were crying

And everyone around you was smiling.

Live your life so that when you die,

You're the one who is smiling

And everyone around you is crying.

Give Me a Hug

A sharing from wikipedia...

A hug is a form of physical intimacy, not necessarily sexual, that usually involves closing or holding the arms around another person or group of persons. The hug is one of the most common human signs of love and affection, along with kissing. Unlike some other forms of physical intimacy, it is practiced publicly and privately without stigma in many countries, religions and cultures, within families, and also across age and gender lines.

Sometimes, hugs are a romantic exchange. Hugs may also be exchanged as a sign of support and comfort. A hug can be a demonstration of affection and emotional warmth, sometimes arising out of joy or happiness at meeting someone.

Hugs are mostly short and used to show many levels of affection. It is not particular to human beings alone, as there are many species of animals that engage in similar exchanges of warmth.

Hugging has been proven to have health benefits. One study has shown that hugs increase levels of oxytocin, and reduce blood pressure.

There are different variations of hugs. Prolonged hugging in a cozy, comfortable position is called cuddling. Spooning is a cuddling position, a kind of hugging when both the hugger and the hugged persons face the same direction, i.e., the front of one person is in contact with the back of the second one. The person whose front is in contact with the other's back is referred to as the "Big Spoon" and the person whose back is in contact with the other's front in referred to as the "Little Spoon". There is also the term snuggling, also known as "kanoodling", coined by the modern psychologist Alexander Althoff, that refers a more intimate form of cuddling, with the two bodies almost intertwined, i.e. one's leg in between the other's.

Her...

A year without her.. how can i forget about her..her smile, her laugh, her face, her mourn, her pain..everything is all about her. She left memories with me. She walked away & never turned back. She gets no pity when she decided to walk away. But who are you, when it comes to destiny? No one can fight for it.

_She was standing at the left side, last pic taken with her sister & her mom_

I try to forget about her, but my heart still resist. I try to calm down myself that she already gone. Still my heart denies it.I'm tired of it, for the hope gone away, for the love faded away, slowly..
A prayer for her..for my loving mom. May her soul rest in peace. We love you mom.

Snorkeling

My recent vacation to Pangkor Island drive me to fall in love with this activity even it was the first time i tried snorkeling. Thanks to our trainer for the guide. I hope i can snorkeling at any famous islands in Malaysia. Perhaps next year I will try to get my licence in scuba diving for more adventurous experience to explore underwater world:p



_on the boat to get ready for snorkeling_



_getting excited while meeting with tonnes of fishes in the water_



_the satisfied faces of us_






_fishermen boat_on the way back_

Relax. Response and finally Stress

Huh! Cakap nak release tension konon, p la snorkeling kt Pangkor & spent 2 days there... thought i would like to erase all the damn shits that happened in my life.. konon2 nya bergembira sakan la cuti ngan kawan2.. but, back after holiday, automatically tension tue return back..

mana tak nyer, after that, i have my exam for the confirmation! aduiyaii..what happened to me???always make blunders in every step i take..
in exam hall today, for the first 45 minutes i was totally lost. don't know which question should answer. out of 14 questions, we have to answer 10 questions within 3hours.. huh! what a disaster! tomorrow will be our Law Exam, much harder than today. ni pun buat preparation cincai2 jer.. memang aku ni x suke sangat exam! huhu..God..send me clues for tomorrow's exam tonight..(if He willing to hear my stupid wish)

And moral of the story, do prepare for your exam kalu tak nak repeat lagi next year..tue pun belum lagi exam yg Tuhan bagi, kalu dapat repeat ok gak!



this photo was taken from my friend's collection
_kalu la ader Ultraman, bole la minta tolong dia kasi burn Exam Hall & papers untuk esok, jd automatic exam dibatalkan..(impian org mcm aku yg suke hidup dlm dunia fantasi)

Just A Dream..

For the day dreamers.. Don't dream too much..It will destroy your mindset :p
Eat.Pray.Relax.Enjoy.

Looking for the right path

I'm heading to the North, to the West, to the South and to the East...
but now I'm caught in the middle..
Which path should i take?
and i'm wondering whether I'm on the right track or not...
Three months to go for the new beginning and for new chapter
I ask myself, whether my missions are accomplished?
Or am I still become a dreamer? Dreaming for something that I wouldn't know the result..
It's not easy for me to out from the comfort zone.. too many choices I have to take..
To play safe or to play risky??

Breaking The Silence

_photo by: Shark Keyz_(thanks ya)


This silence really kills me enough..when I don't have opportunity to voice out what I really wanted to say. Like I was put on detention without trial, no rights to defense me. My rights were denied, and I was continuously be blamed.
It comes to worse when a man tries to be a judge, but he did not have a knowledge on it, judging me without consider my defense. Why must keep silence if reality yet to be discovered? Nothing to hide, the best thing is to confront the reality, not running from the reality, ya! Sometimes, some words are best unspoken, but I'm telling you, they will kill you slowly.. :)

A Letter to God

Dear God..
Thanks for the gifts you gave to me.. for the life I’ve been through along with my way I’ve been here for 27 years..
The trials you gave me, taught me life is not easy as you come along with me to be my guide. And you never failed reveal me, everything happened, there must be a reason lies behind
As your daughter, I always failed to recognize your bestow..the most greatest one and sometimes I lost my faith in you as I think you never wanted to hear my prayer and refuse to hear my heart..
And thanks God..for everything I have, my lovely family, my lovely friends, my career, my life..and last but not least, maybe someone I love most @ someone that I never thought whether he still needs me or not..
However God, do assist me along my journey…


Lots of love, from your daughter

Just A Sharing On Marriage

True story to be shared...by Ramon E.Mendoza


When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.

So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6

A message from old friend..

A long conversation with my old best friend this afternoon really touching me enough. He was once I hate the most in our secondary school because of his big mouth. But, today I realized he changed much, or maybe because of he married and soon to becomes father..(congrate dude ). His advice makes me proud of having a good friend like you.
Everything you mentioned today is everything I have to confront. The reality of life, the challenges, I have to face off before they continue drowning me. Thanks, dude, for the advice. I’ll try myself to wake up that nothing gonna defeat me as I try to make myself believe in reality..and dude, I do really miss my old days, where nothing can make me fear off as I stand strong to be a part of me.

Keeping Faith in Him

I'm losing..losing my Faith in Him. I'm afraid of nothing. And at that night, I really scare of losing faith in Him, for I was lost in a while. I sent message to my best pal, that I really needs her prayer for I was lost in my life. I lost my own direction, for my faith already gone when I never tried to believe miracles would come to change my life. Thanks, my best pal, for your prayer..


"LORD, enter my heart, enter my life, I need you.I need you to restore my faith in you, my love for others, to keep me strong when I am weak"

"Ask, and you will receive, knock, and door will open for you..."

The Good Old Days

Looking back onto these photos, (posted by my cousin) reminisce me about the past, back to year 1990's. Smiling to myself, how life going so fast.. As time passed by, everyone gets older, learning from experience, earning the living..everything rapidly takes place..family expanded, new family members join our big families..and most sadly, when someone we love most left us which made a greatest change to our life..2010..a hope for new begin after the loss..:(


***1990's_can't remember which year, with my beloved cousins & brother (all are grown up)***


***Xmas nite in 2000***


***Xmas morning in 2000_our complete family (first photo taken after move to new home

Just gonna stand there, and watch me burn
That's alright because I love the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
That's alright because I love the way you lie..
I love the way you lie..I love the way you lie

It's yet to be my day! :)

Thanks to my best buddies for the surprised birthday party..(even we celebrated it 15 days advance). But I do really appreciate it & just love it. Cheers!
My birthday wishes for this year:
I. To have a better life than ever
II. To get better career after
III. To have a better health (most importantly to pursue my dream)