Sunday, March 28, 2010

Missing her

Today is Palm Sunday & I’m home alone. I hate of being alone, when nobody with me and I know I do nothing, but will looking on my family portrait, again and again. Especially when I see the pictures of my mom. Tears drop running through cheeks. How cruel this world to me. I can’t stop myself to think of her and will never stops to miss her.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Alice in the Wonderland

Thumb up for “Alice in the Wonderland”. I just get opportunity to watch this evening. This is the best adventure and fantastic movie for all and must be watched.
I feel like I want to become Alice, when every her dreams became true. She is the heroin of her friends. And most importantly, I can learn from the character of Alice, a big dream can be a reality one once we believe we are able to do it. Nothing can restrain you to gain victory, no matter what happen. Never give up on your hope.
A strong relationship between Alice and her strange friends reminds me about how beautiful friends are ,the most precious gift to us, to support us when we need them most.
_____I’m dreaming of becoming Alice, to be a saver to other____

Sunday, March 21, 2010


Enti Pengerindu udah beserangan..pedis senang ditat magang. Ka ngumbai enda sayau, meruan gak nya dikenang. Gamal meruan ayan di mata.tang kati bangat nadai penyinu ke pangan diri?? Kati nyamai ngelebu pangan diri kini…semua pait manis ditelan siku ja. dini meh engkah ati ti sinu?

The Princess and the Frog

I just finished watching this movie (even it released for a long time). It’s really entertained, but first thing I wonder...
Would be a man will kiss a frog like a woman did in this fairy tale to help this woman to became a human?? I don’t think so, especially in reality life of a man today.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

For One More Better Day

I’m wondering...if I could turn back time, for one more time...
What would be the first thing I do??? Seems like I missed the precious time in my life… time I didn’t realized I should appreciate it better. But I failed to do so. I neglected people around me, people that love me much... because I always think that, time will always give me opportunity to realize and wake up from my sweet dream.
I’m selfish of myself. I thought I’m strong & independent enough to stand alone. I’m too proud of being myself, until one day I fall. Since then, how I realized I missed the best part of my life. I loss everything I love most in just blink of eyes. I wake up then, but it’s too late for me to rectify the situation I left behind. This is how I always hope there is another one better day for me. Because I loss in my own direction, do not know which path should I follow. Am I in the right track? Am I still sleeping since parts of me still are missing?
God...wake me up. Guide me to the right direction so that I cannot lost again... may I never failed to put my trust on you. You did it for your own purpose, so that I can appreciate life ever than before.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

For a new hope..and a new life

Life…How wonderful life is...for those who really appreciate it.
Hmm…spices of my life make me stronger to define the real path for me to take.  
Time didn’t allow me to regret about what God had done for me.
He did it for purpose; sometimes I failed to appreciate how beautiful life is to a human nature like me. I like these phases when it comes to God driven purpose:
·         Sometimes God breaks our spirit to save our soul
·         Sometimes, he breaks our heart to make us whole
·         Sometimes, he sends us pain so we can be stronger
·         Sometimes, he takes “EVERTHING” away from us so we can learn the value of “EVERTHING” we have
Hence...with everything that we have, why not we appreciate them, because once we lost them, there is no way to take it back as a normal. We couldn’t take back our yesterday will never came to us even we always think about it. Grab the opportunity we have and don’t wait for tomorrow because tomorrow we never knew whether we still alive or not. Maybe the next minutes we breathe we lost it before a new day come.

A loss of a parent

11st October 2009_ a wakeup call in the Sunday morning, totally changed my life. My instinct said to me, there must be something wrong happened. Taken a quick shower & grabbed my bag (which I prepared for any possibilities that would happen as my instinct reminds me always), I rushed to the airport. But this time, no more tears dropped as I calm myself...frouline, be strong...Anak Tuhan kan mesti kuat..(My fav words when I feel down). My mind still blank, and I just able to send message to my buddies & refused to answer phone calls from them. The only reason I did so because I’m afraid I would lost to my feeling, afraid I can’t be strong as I tried myself to calm down.

Before she left me, I spent almost two weeks with her, keep accompanied her... days & nights even everybody knows the chances for her to recover was very slim. Every day, we pray for her & convince ourselves she wills doing fine (at that time, she unconscious for a week...and hope she will be able to open her eyes again)

God still have mercy on us, a week after, she opened her eyes but unfortunately, she unable to talk to us. But from her deep eyes, she really wanted to say something, at least a word. Her condition really terrified, sometimes she did well, sometimes she didn’t. Time restricted me to look after her then. I had to return to work, leaving her without heard any word (last word) from he. Luckily, my two sisters were there to be with her... (Even in her last breath, none of her loving family there, just her little sister with her dared she never allowed us to see her suffering)

As I returned to resume my job, I was unable to focus. Every time I made phone calls to my sisters, asking for her. Dissatisfied with her condition, I decided to back again late weekend...but, before me able to do so, she left me, before I wake up & ready to take a flight home late afternoon. Now, everything is out of control, without a word, she left me just like this (this is the most thing I regret in my life ever!)

Last Xmas, two months after she left us, was mean nothing. We didn’t prepare anything for our Xmas, just tears dropped accompanied us. The whole day of Xmas I locked myself in room and cried for something that I might be unable to take it back.

Luckily, I have beautiful friends & family always by my side. Their support keep me stand tall even until now, I still feeling down for the loss of my loving mom. Thanks friends for your effort to bring a new life for me for what had happened.

It's Me

It's been a long time i always wanted to have my own blog, but time never allowed me to do so.
My friends keep asking me to create new one, again..i refused until to this day i decided to have one. by having my own blog, hopefully i can exchange my life experience with others, for me, it's a wonderful thing to share what we have with others.

About me..I'm just a simple person, high determination in completing my tasks & ambitious (although i always lost my direction..haha). Having beautiful friends & family are the most precious gifts for me. That's why i do really appreciate things around me, even seldom i neglected my own interests & needs.
So, that's a little bit about me..D